Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Why don't we hear our own snoring?

You are like me, then.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

How do I stop my 12-year-old daughter from crying herself to sleep? I have punished her and she still does it.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

I had run out of hope.

It’s still here.

☆ what's the thing that made u fell in love with your bias?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Be who you already are.

I listened to Kamala Harris speech she gave in North Carolina. I support 100% of what she said. I am more and more in favor of a Kamala Harris presidency if Biden becomes unable to be our president! Do you find yourself supporting Kamala Harris now?

It’s here now, writing to you.

And the sadness?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Can you describe what it's like to live in a town known for Harley Davidson motorcycles?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Why am I so tired of the keto diet?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

What's the hardest part about marriage that no one ever talks about?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

What kind of book did you write after turning 55?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

I was tired of trying and failing.

The sadness was still there.

What is the funniest joke you've been told that you still think about to this day?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

I was tired of fighting.